Conclusion

It still hasn't sunk in, I'm not really sure how it could.

A lot of people have asked me how I'm feeling, and I have had no idea what to respond.  So far, I've been responding that I don't know, and that I'd write a book after I go home and send it to them.  Because, of course, a part of me is excited to see my family again and be home, while the rest of me is in such conflict I can't really sort anything out at all.  It's kind of like a tornado and a fire and an earthquake going on in your brain at the same time.  Excitement about going home, and at the same time, dreading leaving home.

What I do know, though, is that everything will turn out great.  I know that the last few days of the mission they're going to prepare us a lot for going home, I know I'll have a lot of time to think and pray in the temple, and that God will guide everything.  I have faith that God will continue guiding my life as He has here, and that I'll be able to apply the lessons I learned here, and that I'll come home a changed person.  I'll try to approach coming home like I approached coming here:  with a lot of diligence and a lot of prayer.  Life moves on, and it always will, and there's never such thing as the end.  Though I'm sad, at least I'm at peace.

There have been a lot of tender mercies this week, in fact, I couldn't have asked for a better last normal mission week.

Thursday was our zone conference.  Luckily, we had the conference combined with Santa Cruz, and we went to Santa Cruz for the conference, so I got to see Santa Cruz again before I left.  Of course I wasn't able to visit anyone there, but it was really nice to have some time to explore the city again and see everything from my second sector in the mission.  Elder Peterson, Elder Covey, Elder Davis, and several other friends from the mission were at the conference, which was another tender mercy.  I got to say bye to one of my best friends in the mission, Elder Covey, and see Elder Peterson again for the first time since we were comps in Pichidegua.  I saw Elder Davis, Hermana Wright, and Hermana Morrill, which were all in my zone in Talca and we were all good friends.  At the end of the zone conference, President Harris surprised us by doing something he had never done before.  As he was closing up the meeting, he asked me and two other missionaries who are going home to share our testimonies.  The ''last testimony'' tradition died when President Warne left, so I didn't think I'd be giving one, and my heart was suddenly pounding at a thousand beats per minute and I was suuper nervous.  I talked about how God's grace allows us to do His will in our weakness, how He fills the gaps left by our mistakes, the lesson I learned at the start of my mission that shaped the rest of my mission.  I told them that I received the promise that at the end of my mission I wouldn't recognize myself, and that thanks to God's guidance, I saw that promise fulfilled.  It was hard, but after bearing my testimony, I felt great.  I had the chance to publically thank God for what He had done for me, and I didn't think I'd have that opportunity while I was still a missionary.  Talking to the missionaries that I knew after helped me feel a lot of peace, and reflect on what has happened during my mission and be grateful for this opportunity.

Saturday, Alejandro came to spend the day with us.  It was amazing seeing him again, and talking and catching up.  It helped me a lot to remember the lessons I learned when I was in Talca, and process my feelings a little more.  I'm very blessed to have made a friend like Alejandro during my mission, he's influenced my life more than anybody in the mission, and he continues helping me to learn and giving me advice.  He's helped me in ways that nobody else in the mission could have, and I know that we will continue being friends for the rest of our lives.  Saturday was also the baptism of Lorenzo and Gladys, and miraculously, it turned out perfect.  Everything went smoothly without a hitch, and it was a very spiritual meeting.  I got to dress in white and perform a baptism for the second time in the mission, which was an amazing opportunity to have my last Saturday in the mission field.

Sunday I said goodbye to the branch.  Some people thanked me personally that caught me off guard, and because I haven't been in this branch very much time, it caught me off guard.  Regardless, I was really grateful for those people.  A simple thank you can go a long way.

We didn't end up going to Pichidegua today, we decided it would be too difficult.  I'm still relying on coming here within the next year so I'll be able to see everyone then.  This week is already going to be a crazy week.  We stayed here and went to a museum that I always wanted to go to and ate completos.  It was a good P-day.

Friday morning I'll be going to the temple, Saturday I'll be in self reliance classes, Sunday we have more studies in the mission home, then Monday afternoon I'll be headed for Utah.

I'll write one more blog post at home when I have more time, but for now, I want to testify about what really matters.  There are a lot of distractions in the world, and there are lots of problems we have as people and a lot of common problems in the church.  But we know what's important, and what's important is that God is our Father and that He loves us infinitely and unconditionally.  He loves us and is proud of us for our achievements and is patient with our mistakes and is aware of us in every moment.  He loves us more than we can imagine, so much that He sent His son to the earth, so that He might feel what we feel.  What's important is that He suffered every pain that we suffer, that He suffered feelings of betrayal, doubt, temptation, injustice, and everything that a person could feel.  He suffered and died for our sins, that we may return to His presence.  What's important is that because of that sacrifice, we can become better people, and we can follow Him, and learn to become like Him.  That because of His atonement, everything unjust becomes just, every gap is filled, and every sin can lead to repentance.  Because of His atonement we can be enabled to do His will and help other people, and comply with our purpose on this earth, which is to learn to love.  Sincerity, faith, hope, and love.  That's what's important.  I am infinitely grateful for what He did, and the opportunity I had to be His missionary and preach His gospel to people that I learned to love.  I know Him, I love Him, and I will always follow Him.  I know that He lives.  He loves us.  He died for us, and He rose again.  I testify of these things in His name, Jesus Christ, amen.