Epilogue

Hey all!

I had this goal of writing one more letter/blog post to conclude the mission posts, but time has been a tricky fish.  Not to mention, it's hard to motivate myself to write.  I'm planning on starting another blog, after this one, because I think it's good for me to write my thoughts, the things I learn, and the things I'm passionate about when it comes to true Christianity.  But before that, here is the last mission post.

My brother-in-law once told me that the reason missionaries struggle returning home is because they aren't as diligent in coming home as they were in starting their missions.  I wish I had completely understood what he meant when he said it, because, honestly, I had a real hard time for a while.  Despite all I thought I understood about the end of the mission not being an ending at all, when the time came, it sure felt like an ending.  The isolation I felt from my mission and the country and people I grew to love caused a loneliness very similar to the loneliness I felt when I left my family and friends and entered a country where everyone was a complete stranger.  When a missionary enters the field, he enters a new universe (especially if he goes foreign) that feels completely separate from the universe where his family and friends are.  He only connects to the old universe through email an hour a week.  Then, upon returning home, he leaves the universe he grew to love, and is plunged into the old one again.  The mission feels just as isolated as home used to.  Being surrounded by loving family again is amazing, but after being in another world for two years, it's an odd feeling being surrounded by people who weren't with you in the most life-changing years of your existence.

And this is how I think diligence applies.  Leaving home for the mission is harder than going home, because going home at least you go home to family, but leaving home, you plunge yourself into a world of strangers where you know nobody and nobody knows you.  But new missionaries usually get accustomed very quickly, and that is because they know they have to.  They understand that the only way to be happy is to put both feet in the mission, not think about home, consecrate themselves, and learn to love the people.  They know being involved in their missions and serving is the only way to happiness and success in the mission field, and so they learn.  But some returned missionaries never manage to return home from their missions all their lives.  I have talked to middle-aged adults that are still stuck in their missions and can't get out, because they haven't done anything worthwhile since their missions.  That's because they didn't learn to put both feet back in their home.  A returned missionary needs to learn to consecrate himself, love the people in his native country, and learn to serve them just as a new missionary needs to learn to love and serve the people in his mission.  A returned missionary should still think about his mission, and focus on loving and serving the people from his mission that he left behind, but he needs to learn to put both feet back in his own universe, and love and serve the people there as well.  It's true that completing a full-time mission isn't an end to anything, but you sure have to treat it like a beginning.  It is the beginning of applying the lessons learned, the beginning of exercising even more patience than you had to in the mission, and the beginning of a life full of living the gospel and dedicated service.  It's just the start of a new mission, and perhaps even a more important one.

As a returned missionary I was surprised to see that everything at home seems to be nearly the same, with the exception that satan has even a tighter grip over the world than he did.  And I think he's trying harder to destroy returned missionaries than ever.  But, at the same time, God is with His missionaries, and He is strengthening, preparing, helping, and guiding them.  My age group and I were all pretty immature before our missions, and one of the best things about coming home is seeing the amazing young adults that God made out of us.  I've been blessed by inspired home teachers (that are both my age) that were faithful to their assignments and helped me tremendously.  I've seen many youth and young adults give powerful lessons and talks and serve selflessly and help others.  Every time I see something like this, I remember that satan cannot win.  And he will not win.  The battle is already won, because He already won it, and because He already won the battle in us.

Since coming home, I've had more powerful spiritual experiences at a greater frequency than ever before in my life.  The message is always the same, summarized by the third verse of "How Firm a Foundation":

3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

Then the 7th always comes to mind:

7. The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

God doesn't slacken His hand after someone ends a mission, or is released from a calling, or is passing through any kind of transition.  Our concept of beginnings and endings isn't His concept, for our ways are not His ways, and our thoughts are not His thoughts (Isaiah 55:8.)  For God doth not walk in crooked paths, neither doth he turn to the right hand nor to the left, neither doth he vary from that which he hath said, therefore his paths are straight, and his course is one eternal round (D&C 3:2.)  I am so thankful to have an all-knowing Father that knows me and loves me infinitely.  He has led me thus far, and I am grateful that He will continue to do so for eternity.

My mission was the the most treasured experience of my life this far.  It was the biggest adventure I've ever had.  Those years were the craziest, most dangerous, most life-changing, most memorable, most difficult, most spiritual, and most wonderful I've experienced.  On my mission I've made friends I will maintain for eternity.  On my mission I learned who I am.  I learned what my strengths are, and a whole lot about what my weaknesses are.  I learned who my Father is, and is Son, and I learned to trust Them.  I learned the importance of charity and love, I learned to serve, I learned to work, I learned to give myself, I learned to consecrate myself, and I learned that living the gospel is the only way to be happy.  I learned that happiness and sadness are interwoven, I learned that patience is a heavenly virtue that God will always try, and I learned that discipleship is not a pleasant path, but that it is certainly worth it.  I learned that our Father loves us infinitely, and that Jesus Christ has the power to extend mercy and save and lift up any of Father's children who are willing to let down their walls.

I learned more than I can describe in a single email.  I have met and talked to so many people in the last month that have learned the exact same lessons.  I know that God is preparing His people, that when the darkness continues to deepen, the light will shine brighter against it.  I am so grateful for Him and his gospel.  I know that Jesus Christ is the son of God, and that He lives.  I know He is the light and life of the world, and that it is through Him that we may acquire the light we need in order to shine against the approaching darkness.  I know that He lifts, prepares, and guides each one of us.  That He qualifies His people for the great latter work.  I know that this is the true church of Jesus Christ restored on the earth, that He is our head, and that this is His work.  I so testify in His name, Jesus Christ, amen.

-- Elder Fox